Princess Glah-Day

The Polka-dot Princess has a new nickname...Princess Gladé (pronounced "glah-day"). Upon returning from a recent shopping trip, I came home to a very fresh, sweet smelling home. As it turns out, our garbage disposer....I mean, dog....ate 2 of my new candles! After weeks of a nice, destruction-free home, my prep work of making the house puppy friendly (done before leaving the house) became somewhat laxed. I mistakenly left a plastic bag which, inside were some newly purchased Glade candles, atop the counter, in easy reach of our 70 lb mutt. As her predecessors have done, she ate not only the candle and the wick but she also ate parts of the glass container! Luckily for her, I think they were small enough pieces that it didn't harm her intestinal tract! Luckily for me, those candles were FREE thanks to my coupon addiction and I still have about a dozen left!

Rainman

Batman

turns

into

RAINMAN!?!

The Clash of the Hero's

Yes, it all happened within a blink of an eye. The first battle occured last weekend while visiting my sister. My nephew, the "Spaceman," and Batman collided heads while playing around, as most boys do! Since I wasn't an eyewitness to the crash, I don't know exactly how it happened. However, by tending to the injured, I can only sumise that they were running and fell (funny how that seems to be a family trait!). Batman fell atop Spaceman, whose forehead was split open by Batman's front tooth (incisior, #9) in the fall. Luckily, after being jet rocketed to the closest ER in a 2009 Nissan Altima, it was determined that this astronaut did not need any advanced medical technology to fix his wound -just a couple of sterile strips. News of this came as quite a relief.

Batman, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky. Although he didn't experience any pain, yet, and won't have a scar (as his cousin will have), he will need to "suit-up" and prepare for some reconstructive dental work.

And, as fate would have it, upon returning to our home, Batman experienced defeat and realized too late that his coordination skills still need refining. While flying around, bare-footed and playing with our dog, "The Princess," his last minute decision to kick the dog's toy, instead of throwing it, proved to be ill fated. His foot missed the toy and hit the dog's snout, whose sharp incisior pierced Batman's right foot. He, too, was whisked to the closed medical treatment facility in the Batmobile only to have it be determined to be a superficial battle wound. Two sterile strips were used and he was given 10 days worth of antibotics.
Although alittle dazed and confused, the dog came away clean and she didn't even retaliate....Thank Goodness!

Hopefully, Batman has learned not to play so rough and to leave his superhuman powers to his imagination.

I didn't do it!

Kids and pets alike can be, undoubtedly, the cutest and funniest when it comes to looking innocent after their path of destruction is revealed. Take, for instance, the picture above. This was taken shortly after discovering our couch need some reupholstering!



Or after having being called by your first and middle name (a sure sign to any child that they've been caught!)



Inevitably, with more than one adolescent in the house, something WILL break, get ruined or worse, be completely obliterated and you will, almost always, hear the infamous words "I didn't do it! She did it!"


So, with our family of miscreants, we've learned to expect the worse and pray for the best!

The Walnut...Batman?

A long time ago, when I was in 2nd grade, I made a miniature Santa to give as a gift to my parents for Christmas. It was made out of a walnut, red felt and some white fluff. This silly arts-n-craft ornament was placed on the tree every year. Usually, it was at the bottom or in the back, you know, some place secluded as to not distract from the beauty and ambiance of our family Christmas tree.

Over the years, the Walnut Santa (as it was appropriately named) became worn and tattered -the eyes and mouth became faded and the beard became stretched and thinned. Nonetheless, it still adorns my parents tree every year. This once seemingly and typical child's craft is now considered a cherished family heirloom as it sits atop the tree right beneath the angel.

And now, at every Christmas, I laugh (and am laughed at) about the appearance of the Walnut Santa. But, throughout the year, I get subtle reminders of the infamous ornament, as I did last weekend when "Batman" insisted we get our "Princess" a new loofa dog (a funky loofah style pet toy).


It only took "Gozer" 5 minutes of rough play to dismember this pink, stuffed animal, at which, "Batman" decided to pretend he was a jolly old elf.

Gozer the Gozerian

For those of you who may not have seen Ghostbusters, one of the funniest movies ever made, here are some memorable quotes:

[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So, what are we doing today, Zuul?
Dana Barrett: We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Gozer?
Dana Barrett: The Destructor.

Dr Ray Stantz: It's a girl.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's Gozer.
Winston Zeddemore: I thought Gozer was a man.
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's whatever it wants to be.

No, Sadie wasn't present during the rectification of the Vuldrini. But I do think that we are heading for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

Here are some pictures for you to see the "mass hysteria" at my house (cats & dogs living together)!
Destruction not pictured:
11/24/2008
Action: Escaped from unsecured gate
Motive: Home alone
Result: Living room littered with shreds of toilet paper

12/22/2008
Action: Placed in master bathroom while owners' guests were preparing departure. Owners at work.
Motive: Window view blocked
Result: 2" faux wood blinds in tangled, broken and strewn about bathroom floor & garden tub.

1/21/2009
Action: Escaped crate by flipping crate on its side.
Motive: Placed in crate while owners at work.
Result: Minimal damage to interior wall near where crate was placed.

1/26/2009
Action: Attempted an escape from crate. Flipped crate on its side in an attempt to slide door gate open.
Motive: Placed in crate while owners at work as a preventative measure to ensure no destruction.
Result: Substantial damage to wall and floor board, requiring owners to repair and repaint wall.

2/2/2009
Action: Placed in living room with adult female cat while owner took sick child to the doctor.
Motive: Boredom. Bread box was left opened by owner.
Result: 8 hot dog buns fully ingested.

2/24/2009
Action: Left home alone while owners at work.
Motive: Again...boredom, despite the numerous chew toys & rawhide bones available
Result: New rug owner bought 2 days ago now ruined! :-)

The Criminal

On Friday (2/6), I received a call from the school principal. It seems as though my son decided to punch another classmate in the eye, unprovoked, in the cafeteria. When I asked him what happened, he told me that this other child wouldn't let him put his head down on the table to rest. So Justin turned to him and socked him right in the eye. Thankfully (and luckily) the punch was not that severe and the other child didn't suffer any serious injury -not even a black eye. As school policy states, the school could not release to me who the other child was, but in speaking with Justin, I found out that it was a child he's known since kindergarten. They've been in the same class every year and have always gotten along (no incidents).

The principal suspended Justin from school (1 day) and I was in total agreement with the principals actions, but at a loss as to what punishment to bestow upon him. My ideas included chore-work, but being like most young children, he loves to help out whenever he can. There's not a chore he doesn't like to do....except for "pooper-scooper!" which is usually delegated to my husband. So, over the weekend, he spent 2 hours in the back yard picking up the dogie land mines. At one point he said "But Dad, I don't want to do this!" Chad's response, "Yes, I don't either. But thanks to you, I don't have to...you do!"

Other penalties included writing apology letters to the principle (for hitting one of his students), to his teacher (for missing class on Monday) and to the poor child (who suffered my son's wrath). He also spent most of his weekend in his room reading books and writing in his journal. He was not allowed to watch TV, play video games or go outside to play with his friends.

I knew I had to put the fear of God into this boy, but how? What was I going to do with him on Monday to make his life as miserable as possible, as to thwart off any future acts of violence? A quick Internet search on Google gave me the answer! A visit to the police station!

So, Monday morning, I called the local P.D. and asked if I could get an officer to "talk" to my son! "Do I need an appointment?" I asked. "Nope! Just bring him in and we'll take care of him! We do this all the time!" "All the time, eh? That's kind of scary!" I thought to myself.

Nevertheless, off we went. When we left the house, he didn't ask where we were going, nor did I volunteer that information. I had decided to make it a surprise. The whole way there, I had knots in my stomach and I kept doubting myself and wondered if I was doing the right thing. I now know that I did. When we got there, what seemed to be the meanest, toughest looking female officer came out to the waiting area and introduced herself (she was actually quite nice to me!). She asked me why we were there and, after I gave her a short version, she escorted him back behind a heavily locked door and left me sitting in the lobby. After about 20 minutes, they both came back and she asked him to step right outside the front entrance doors (which were glass, so we could still see him but he couldn't hear us). She turned back towards me and the first thing she said was "He is sooooo cute and so smart!"..hmmmm, tell me something I don't know!

She told me that she initially took him back and basically scared the crap out of him. I ask how she did that and she told me that she showed him the jail cell and handcuffs. She talked to him about why it was wrong to hit and what he should do if that happens again (which is to walk away and tell a teacher). She also introduced him to the biggest, tallest officer they have on the force. And the first thing he said to Justin was "Am I bothering you? Do you want to hit me?" Of course by that time, she said, he was shivering in his boots! They also talked to him about Juvenile Detention and what the kids are like there. They went over what would happen if he did this again and how he would be arrested and booked. She also mentioned to him that her own daughter goes to the same school (which she told me was true) and that if he EVER, EVER hit her (or anyone else) that she personally would come and handcuff him. Little did I forget, that they (the parents of the kid whom Justin hit) could press charges! I'm sure glad they didn't!

Then they did something that kind of surprised me - they talked to him about what he wants to be when he grows up and what he has to do to achieve his goals! He told them how he wants to go to college and become a Train Engineer. They gave him lots of advice and encouragement to "do the right thing!"

Overall, I think it was a good experience for him to see what happens to criminals! Before we left the parking lot of the police department, I told him that I NEVER want to have to take him to the police station AGAIN! I think he got my point!